A friend of mine sparked this idea, so thank you Rudolph.
For some reason I spend a lot of time thinking about businesses I’d like to go to but don’t exist: a Weimar-themed hotel and casino, or a sex neutral/gender specific haberdashery that caters to dandies and drag kings (tentatively named “Manish Boy”) or an urban petting zoo (one of my first ideas, and coincidentally one that someone else made come true!). I suppose this stems from the amount of architectural theater in play in New York already, from Williamsburg eatertainment, to the Hollister store on Broadway, to my personal favorite, Duncan Quinn.
So on to the idea at hand. This is a store, as yet unnamed (feel free to make suggestions) that sells items based on the theme, connotation, and quality of their branding and packaging. The contents of the package would be secondary to the package itself. The shop would be organized not according to price or the intended use of the things, but according to packaging themes. I imagine there would be a great many useless things or items of poor quality, but nothing would be allowed in if its packaging wasn’t up to snuff, no matter how good the thing is. Below is a selection of proposed items for sale:
- Bit-O-Honey – 10¢
- Lincoln Shoe Polish (Various Colors) – $5.75
- Santa Maria Novella Sapone Soap – $22/bar, 3 bar minimum
- Coty Face Powder – $7
- Belomor Russian Cigarettes – $20 (imported)
- Clubman Aftershave – $6
- Red Cross Salt – about 50¢ on sale
- Ampex Audio Tape – $250 or so
- Heinz Baked Beans – About a buck
- Ardbeg Double Barrel Scotch – £10,000










Critical Notes
Being a segment where I provide means by which you [the reader] are encouraged to remark, annotate, provoke, correct, rejoin, laud, or admonish the preceeding sentiment or incident. Communications impertinent to the aforementioned, including general threats of violence or love letters should be forwarded to me personally.
Friday, August 7, 2009 7:09 pm
From the computer of jake sylvester yuzna
I’m pretty sure this store exists, and is called “Spencer Gifts”.
While its items don’t have the same delicate aesthetics as the items you list, Spencer Gifts does groups together products based on themes (little green men, pro wrestling, bongs, black light affected, boob jokes, the grim reaper, etc.) with a wide variety of price, form, and use (if there is one).
jake sylvester yuzna